Monday, 15 October 2012

Tantalizing Tuesday Teaser #11

Tuesday 16th October 2012

This week I've decided to dedicate the following post to the Beyond Blue foundation and all my friends who live with Depression. Depression is not a dirty word. It can strike anyone at any age. Some people live with it undiagnosed and their relationships with family and friends often suffer. The following post will give readers the opportunity to have a little insight into what some people living with the condition have to overcome on a daily basis. There is no miracle pill that can make these feelings completely go away - despite the modern advances in medicine. Every experience is different. Talking about it helps as well as having a support network of friends who understand. If you realise there is something in the following post that feels familiar, don't be scared. You are not alone.

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Blue#11

The feelings of emptiness are best described as a nothingness that consumes the soul.

Eyes stare without purpose as darkness shackles the spirit, dragging it underwater.

Cowering in caves with companions of self-doubt and worthlessness, only feed the gremlins holding me down.

I know the light is out there, but this daily struggle is wearing me out. My will is slowly ebbing toward giving up. 

Sometimes I see the end in sight.

Loneliness is a force of nature we all battle, but when the black dog wakens - your ass belongs to it.

Like a master, it must be obeyed. The destruction has to be ridden out.

Knowing the black dog will soon go back to sleep is the only hope I have of waking from this hellish nightmare.

Safe - no, you're not. Tread carefully now, so as not to wake the sleeping giant.

Avoid public places and basic daily routine to break the judgement of others who might suspect.

Paranoia lurks around every corner. Someone knocking at my door - I fear the beast will wake.

Quick! Put on a mask - pretend. Find a happy place. Seek refuge from the invisible shackles that arise to claim me.

~*~
Thank you for reading. 
Understanding this condition is only half the fight. 
If you feel as though you might be suffering from depression, you're not alone. 
Please contact www.beyondblue.org.au or call (in Australia) 1300 22 4636. 
There is life after Blue.


10 comments:

  1. Having been an oft guest at the giant's table, his attentions starve the spirit and kill the passion. Escape is temporary, unavaoidable and futile. So, in a word, Cg, that was 'spectacular'.:) xo

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  2. Perfect description of something we all feel at one point or another. Beautiful, poetic words to describe deep sadness. Excellent.

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  3. Fantastically written piece about an illness so soul destroying.

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  4. I love the reference to the sleeping dog that is a beast and can take her down into the depths of depression. My next novel deals with this same illness that overwhelms people into paranoia.

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  5. It is a terrible problem which I too suffered with over a period of many years. Drugs, hospitalisation and shock treatment did their bit to bring me back from the edge. At times I thought I would never get better. But I did. Now I realise that trying not to be depressed is what kept me depressed. Once I worried that I might be worthless. Now I don't care if I'm worthless. Why should I? The sun shines as brightly on a worthless person as on anyone else. Good food tastes as good for a worthless person as for anyone else. One doesn't have to be worthy to enjoy sexual pleasure. None of the pleasures of life need to be earned. It is worrying about whether we are worthy or not and trying to prove that we are worthy which takes away our attention from the joy of life and saps our energy to enjoy it enthusiastically. Anyway, that's what works for me. Embracing my own worthlessness. But all of us are different, and other forms of depression may not be so easily escaped. So, as you say, seeking help is the best course of action for those suffering.

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    1. I understand this so well. I suppose it connects up wih the idea of losing oneself in order to find oneself. There are so many paradoxes in human life.

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  6. God, do I recognize the sentiments in this one. I fight depression constantly and the fall and winter are probably the worst. Watching the sun disappear for five-six months makes me want to bury myself and sleep like the bears. Wonderful piece.

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  7. Wow. So beautifully descriptive and moving. You captured the emotions -the sadness, loneliness and isolation- perfectly.

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  8. Depression can be soul destroying, making you wonder why you have woken up. To dig deep and find the will to carry on can take all your strength. I've been there. Excellent hon

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  9. Wow Cg, this is a powerful piece. Loneliness, despair and depression can indeed be like a rabid black dog, gnawing not on a bone, but on hope. Your words have touched me, most notably the passage about putting a mask to pretend, so no one will know. Ah, that says it all. Well done.



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